Light Surrounding You

You have to understand why I'm in love with Evermore.

I think in a way, evermore also reminds me of the numerous good (and bad) times in brisbane.

i got to know them when i was there.

and my first evermore gig ever!

and i met the boys. Pete is the most charming of all.

and when i told dann that he's my favourite one, he said im his favourite too.

and he was 19.

jon is the most boring of all. but he is so my type. cos he's the strong silent kind.

and it saddens me sometimes cos im stuck in singapore unable to catch evermore, possibly ever. unless i make trips down south ever so often which is not possible, unless i have cold hard cash and time which is not possible cos i spend almost as much as i earn and i dont think i can afford to take leave, which is sad cos i cant catch evermore.

i know im talking rubbish but who reads my rubbish anyway?

i know alot of my friends read my rubbish - alot of you dont comment or leave a msg on the tagboard - which is perfectly fine.

you cant force people to accept your perspectives & do things "the way you think is right".

i hate people who impose their thoughts on me.

as meek as i might look due to my size - i am not as meek as you think i am.

if i think in occasions where it is just best to shut up, i will.

i will however not allow mediocre minds and their egomaniac self take over me & force me to accept the discourse.

im extremely grateful to my australia education - and the invaluable experience others do not have.

thoughts and emotions aside, DREAMS MUST GO ON.

cos i realised they are the ONLY thing in this world that will keep you alive.

i think my daddy's dream is to drive a BMW & to walk me down the aisle. which is why he will keep on living till he gets behind the wheels of the german car & wear his black suit on my wedding day.

i think my mummy has no dream which is why she is living life by its day. i hope she finds her ground soon.

i think cjy's dream is to own another bike which needs money so his alter-dream would be to earn lots of money. which is why he will continue to neglect me and do OT until his dream is fulfilled.

my biggest dream to watch coldplay has been fulfilled - not once but twice - and i was so lost after that. i didnt know what to do and what to look forward to.

i still have unfulfilled dreams like RHCP, John Mayer, PETE YORN (cant believe i missed his OZ tour!) blah blah blah.

life still goes on.

you can live without a job (well not really..) but you cant live without dreams.

because you need dreams in order to sustain you through your job. there is no one job in this world that you will absolutely love because nothing is perfect.

dreams is the only things that keeps us going.

you know you need money to buy a BMW.

you know you need money to buy concert tickets & to travel.

so you keep your job in order to feed your dreams.

so you stay alive.

makes sense.. no?

then submit your case.

you dont need a broken heart, to know a heart can be broken.

you dont need to be deceived to know a lie can be spoken.

April

april is a special month because it's my birth month.

then CJY came into my life and it's his birth month too.

well red hot chili peppers is gonna make April in 2007 so special.

then i jus read that John Mayer is making April 2007 special too.

i really really reallly wanna go!

Savings plan commence this month. which is extremely difficult because of XMAS & Anniversary.

V-Day is not important to CJY & ME.

pls pls pls make my april special to me.

near enough

perth is by far, the nearest Aussie city to Singapore.

Even share the same time zone.

only 4 hours away.

if evermore ever plays at that tiny, ulu-ated city of the land down under, i'll be sure to be there.

my dream is attainable.

i just have to perservere and think out of the box and maintain my rice bowl - and my bf, in case anything monetarily fails.

evermore - light surrounding you

The next best thing to seeing them live.

i guess.

missing something

I'm not dead, just dead busy, that's all.

Recently been having bouts of flashbacks of my life in australia.

The time spent there has opportunity costs. Like i'm not around to watch sea sea grow old.

she was fat and having a bit of problems moving around but she would always be hyper and excited at the sound of the doors opening and the sight of her leash.

it's just really unfair to me (i feel) to have to accept her death less than a week of my return to singapore.

Yet these are one of the things i have to deal with being human.

Suddenly i would have flashback of me driving to the entertainment centre to watch coldplay while i was sending emails to my clients.

Then i would have images of the FABULOUS charsiew & roast pork rice at this tiny Hong Kong restaurant in chinatown, brisbane. And how i would eat at least 3 servings of rice. All these ran through my head while i was having lousy char siew rice at the new food court at Wisma.

Yesterday i was out with lennie and apek and the ever-so-familiar song, It's Too Late by evermore was ringing on their mobile.

Then today i blasted evermore all day on this lazy sunday nursing a tired weekend.

LiveNLocal concerts, Make Poverty History concerts - all of which i have to miss.

SOMETIMES I DONT SEE WHY I AM LIVING IN SINGAPORE.

really.

I dont understand why i have to live in a land full of ugly singaporeans who knows no basic courtesy and manners on everything - from public transport to food courts to clubbing venues to toilets to aeroplanes to concert venues.

I dont understand why i have to live in this place where people indulge in crappy tv, make-believe reality tv and absolute consumerism.

I dont understand why i have to live in this land where no musicians want to come, no big and exciting concerts or festivals, where evermore is virtually unknown.

I don't understand why i am actually living in this land where they would choose HADY over Jonathan; taufik over sylvester.

My virgin experience at dragonfly yesterday and saw SLY perform. My friends went there a couple of times but he didnt perform. So i think i am fated to meet sly.

Do not get me wrong - no fan of sly but he was damn cute last nite!

Had a very strong urge to shout his name like i would at a concert but too damn embarrassing.

Back to the topic.

I REALLY DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

And i dont mean it in a sarcastic way. I really mean it. I really DO NOT understand.

Now that Sea Sea is no longer around, i have less issues with not spending enough time at home with her.

Yet i miss the company so much it spurns thoughts of getting a new dog.

CJY the bf, was so concerned with distraught me that he suggested he get a new dog for me.

Then it dawned on me that it is too scary of human beings to want to replace something they lost that they could do it in an instant.

It scares me to think that sea sea who's loyally served me for 8 years (she was 10 when she died but i wasn't around in the last 2 years) can be replaced so easily in an instant by the purchase of another dog.

i'm not getting another dog in the nearest future. but i think i will eventually. and when that happens, i am at ease with myself. and i am contented to know sea sea is in heaven.

----------------------------------------------------

Sea Sea's death had an enormous impact on me, my perspectives on life and the way i do things now.

Nothing is forever.

And nothing is worth too much of my attention.

Sadly, i feel friends come and go.

To me, friends are actually disposable now.

It's gonna cause an uproar saying this - but i feel there is no one friendship that can last forever.

At least that hasnt happened to me.

I am an honourable person and i help my friends whenever they're in trouble. Yet, sometimes it wasnt meant to be. Could be timing. Could be third parties. Could just be the elements of earth.

Not a shame - just be gracious and be thankful it happened and move on.

I'm at ease with myself and my surroundings.

I know who are the ones genuine about my ties with them.

Just no time for petty fights or immature children.

Life is too short for all these.

fix me

when you tried your best but you dont succeed

when you lose something you cant replace

when you love someone but it goes to waste

could it be worse?


--- i hope i do i do i sincerely hope, lights will guide me home.


this is a song that i can never tire of hearing (a pity ngak does a lousy rendition of it).

I've been listening to this song since the launch of X&Y and i am still constantly listening to it because it just makes so much sense.

give it away

love this song ~ who doesn't?

i realised RHCP doesnt sound exactly like they are on their albums - like coldplay does, so does mraz.

but they possess such energy on stage! i cant believe it.

they are all above 40 years old mind you.


p/s: i am currently in the midst of saving money so i can go back to down under in APRIL 2007 to catch RHCP.

my dream is attainable.

i just have to perservere.

even if i have to do it alone.

who's the judge?

i find it extremely hard to swallow when people judge me.

SHALLOW PEOPLE ESPECIALLY.

i find it extremely repulsive when people judge people.

who are they to judge?

i find it absolutely unacceptable when my friends judge my friends.

seriously. WHY?

===========================

i pride myself as a character of good virtue, integrity and personality.

i have heaps of friends because of my easy-going personality.

i also do not - AND I PROUDLY SAY SO - say something bad to a friend of another friend in an attempt to make one person dislike another aka back stabbing.

because i wanna go to heaven and meet sea sea there.

i also believe in karma VERY STRONGLY - hence i think twice about my actions.

yet i have friends who judge my friends.

WHO ARE WE TO JUDGE?

i am very proud to say that i don't judge people.

you can fuck around and sleep around - or you could've been in jail - or you might have done something wrong, like stealing, or cheating etc, or u could've taken drugs before or are taking drugs.....

I DON'T JUDGE.

the reason being i've seen it all.

do not ask why i did but i have.

and it really is nothing -

john lennon was a drug addict, so is anthony kiedis, and currently tom chaplin of keane. winona ryder was convicted of stealing...

jude law (im so in love with him) cheated on sadie frost - and then cheated on sienna miller again.

they are all celebrities in the public eye.

and they have all done wrong.

what is wrong anyway? who said blah blah blah is wrong?

because we live by standards that society has set upon us.

because they are only humans.

so is everybody else and to err is human.

in primary school - if i wear a red rubber band, i am wrong.

where is the reason in that? because it doesnt go with uniform? because school rules say it is wrong.

----------------------------------------

because of the way i am, i have quite a bit of friends almost everywhere.

and i like the way i am because i see things and learn from their experience without having to go through all that they've gone through.

when my friends start judging my other friends - i get defensive - maybe it is natural reaction.

maybe i feel my friends should have confidence in my character that i do not befriend people with dubious character.

the worst part of it all is they are the ones living in their own small world of their own and start judging people with their narrow mind and their tainted eyes.

---------------------------------------------

i will continue to be the way that i am because i have reached this stage of my life where i am extremely comfortable in my own skin and totally in control of myself.

i think the biggest reason is that i have come to terms that not everybody in this world will like me and that i am totally cool with that.

as long as you dont go around my back telling all my other friends untrue things about me or spread tales of your own delusion, i'm fine.

SERIOUSLY EVEN IF YOU DO - ALOT OF PEOPLE HAS DONE THAT TO ME ACTUALLY, WHAT CAN I DO?

let's be mature about it - seriously - i dislike alot of people, but i have always kept my comments to myself. Not because i'm scared or what but i feel it is up to my friends to choose their friends.

i can only be consistent with myself and just be who i am and ignore people with mediocre minds and character and *hope* that my friends who knew me for who i am - will not believe all those poisonous tales.

i am really glad that along my path of life - i've met many friends who believed in me.

THANK GOD FOR KARMA.

i dont need to prove anything to anyone.

i only have to live with myself.

because i only have myself to answer to.

---------------------------------------------------------

can YOU answer to yourself ?

爱情限时批 (Ai Qing Han Si Puay)

Very Very Groovy song.

Heard it at the concert - fell in love with it and being the usual me, i totally overkilled this song on my windows media player.

Tried searching on youtube previously for this video but couldnt find. Tried searching today again and found it.

Must be a damn old song lah - look at Wu Bai!! Still so skinny!!! He was damn fat during the concert.

And that WAN FANG.

Look like a TAI MEI. As in Zhang Zhen Yue's song.

FUCKING AH LIAN - dunno shake what shake..dance also dunno how to dance properly.

SERIOUSLY HOW DID SHE END UP BESIDE MY IDOL SINGING A LOVE SONG?

ARRGH~

all the men that i like have seriously poor taste in women. i give up.

gonna figure out a way to put this on my mobile....

scar tissue

this song i'm sure many of you knew is by red hot chili peppers. im just pretty surprised i found this video of this song by gorillaz.

like i used to like gorillaz quite a bit when they first came out - and then that kind of feeling i have for coldplay and evermore didnt stick.

then i saw their video with madonna - the one they performed at the grammys....

IT WAS HILARIOUS CAN............................

speaking of scar tissue - this is a very meaningful song cos this is the song that made me took note of RHCP.

my dream of catching them in 2002 was not fulfilled.

2007 is my chance - i hope i get to go australia and catch them in april...!!!!!!!!!!

like a birthday pressie for myself - money money money..........

home

you were supposed to be part of my second-home plan.....

alone i am now. alone i shall perservere.




you run to where?

u off in a better place?

u get to gai gai everyday and go wherever u want?

u still panting?

ur heart still murmuring?





see you when i get there.

omg

how could he not win?

omg!!

like seriously OH MY GAWD.

i didnt even watch ANY of jonathan leong's performances live on tv - i watched them on youtube cos i was in australia when it all happened.

gen was like - u know whose jonathan? He's damn cute.

when she showed me - im like - ARE U SURE? i mean timmy is cuter - haha~

BUT!!!!!

i fell in love!!!!

when i heard him sing SMOOTH. When you're gone.

OMG - like seriously that voice!

how did that mudd guy win??? arrgh~

they sang this song "YOU GAVE ME WINGS" - which i suspect is highly imitative of "YOU RAISE ME UP - Josh Groban" - a song written for the Singapore Idol (whoever wins the contest).

FUCKING BOYBAND CAN.

LIKE A BOYZONE SONG.

didnt really like the song.

ok....i hated that song.

i heard jonathan's version - and thought it was gruggy but ok lah.

i almost puked my soya bean this morning when i heard hady reach those high notes.

like seriously ...... my gawd

I AM NOT UNHAPPY THAT JONATHAN DIDNT WIN.

I AM UNHAPPY THAT HADY WON.

because it is not a bad thing NOT to win Singapore Idol - because Idol contests winners are never the best singer.

winning is NOT all that matters.

however - i am extremely unhappy someone like hady could win or even remotely compete with jonathan.

but u cant award someone with that kind of NEGATIVE potential with something that is supposed to mean - good or even best - when he is absolutely not. Just like taufiq and sly.


WELL WE'VE ALREADY GOT TAUFIQ - WHATS WORSE THAN THAT PIECE OF SHIT.

that is not a question - that is a statement - or what they say a rhetorical question that needs no answers to. (in case u wanna correct me by saying i put fullstop instead of question mark).

i am actually glad that jonathan is not singapore idol - and he should be too - cos if he does win, he'll be singing all those "aspiring" , "inspirational" songs. What dreams lah...fuck lah...

he sang crash cars by snow patrol lor.

omg - he's gonna go further than any singapore idols will lor.

oh and he sang SHOULD I STAY by DREAMZ FM!!!

Tat is like how difficult cos the original had such a high voice and so much falsetto!!

JONATHAN MADE IT HIS OWN LOR..

---- and wats worse abt this whole singapore idol thing?

they got previous idol contestants including taufiq and sly to comment.

FUCK U CAN

WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY TO COMMENT?

THEY CANT EVEN DRESS PROPERLY.

CANT EVEN OPEN THEIR MOUTH PROPERLY - AND CANT EVEN TALK PROPERLY.

talking and behaving like they're experts.

just a reminder - THEY ARE EX CONTESTANTS WHO DIDNT MADE IT. MEANING THEY'RE NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR THE CONTEST.

and they can go comment on jonathan or whoever's singing?

im like - sooooooooooo fucking disappointed with singapore media.

ARRGH.

-----------

this is as usual - a kao bei kao bu entry.

but i cant blame myself for having too many opinions on too many things lah~

i like the way i am.

disgust

somehow people who broke up with their girlfriends/boyfriends deserve more sympathy than those who have to deal with the death of a loved one.

no doubt the loved one is a 4-legged piece of furball - it's a living thing, breathing, eating, peeing, shitting, whining and cuddling like any other human being because it is a living thing.

it just disgusts me how many people think that losing a dog is equivalent to that of losing a goldfish.

i dont need sympathy nor attention from anyone because i am strong and i am independent.

i reveal my vulnerable side to a selected few who wont judge me for anything in this world.

sea sea's death has affected me in more ways than one and i am taking it harder than expected.

it has been a month and i am not remotely over it. Every morning, i wake up and i think of her. Everytime i come home, i think of her. Every nite before i sleep, i think of her.

Many times when i was on the bus, i would think of her. Sometimes when i was working, i think of her. Almost everytime im having lunch, i think of her.

I appear ambivalent and nonchalent about it in front of my friends because i dont want anybody to ask me about her and wants to offer me condolences because i cannot deal with all these. I might just break down - even consoling smses from friends drive me to the brink of tears at times.

the past one and a half years - i was having the time of my life in australia, pursuing a dream that would last me a lifetime. the opportunity cost is the time with my loved ones.

i wasnt around to watch her grow old and sick and weak.

i shouldnt have to deal with her death the moment i came home.

too many regrets...

i am a very positive person - if you, my friend, didnt already know. And i hate imposing my feelings and emotions on other people.

Just because i am smart with my feelings and emotions, and i am strong enough to control them does not mean people can take my feelings for granted and assume i can and had gotten over my dog's death.

i shall not go into my opinions on breakups for it will appear insensitive to many.

people cant deal with raw emotions and confrontations - they squirm when the truth is told.

why do i have to deal with stupid people all the time?

crumbling down

the happiest three-hour in my entire week so far.

wu bai, mc hotdog and zhang zhen yue.

they sang AI PIA JIA EH YA as the final encore - and my camera battery pack had to give way.

if i ever find the energy to do anything again, i'll post up close up pictures of them.

im like 8 rows from them - not the nearest but not too shabby :-)

lost

sometimes i wish she'd turn up at my door

cos she just got lost ........

time

if you have to go, don't say goodbye

if you have to go, don't you cry

if you have to go, i will get by

someday i'll follow you

see you on the other side

~ For Martha, Smashing Pumpkins

......................................................................................................

you spent so much time in life fighting for things, running away from things, living and surviving, that you neglect some things in life that has been there all your life.

then one fine day, it took a hike and went to the other side.

you realised you took it for granted all the time, all the fuckin time in your entire fuckin life, that it is always going to be there.

i said before - nothing in life is worth rushing for.

yet i wished i could've travelled faster than 140km/h last night.

i have never fought for her - never been there for her..

not even the last moments of her life.

this sunday @ east coast park was never meant to be ...

if only she could.

i'm taking it harder than i expect i would

because there are too many what ifs, i should haves and endless regrets..

......................................................................................................

maybe the big guy above wants me to learn

maybe it is time for me to learn to grow up and be a true adult

maybe it's bad karma happening to me

maybe this is a lesson - cruel as it is

the morals, values - however painful

i have to learn

enlightenment

when you tried your best

but you don't succeed.

Life Is For Living

Life is for living - and i dont wanna live it alone.

I'M HOME~!!!!

Finally!!! I'm back in sillypore.

I was supposed to come back a couple of weeks ago - but there were so many things going on in my mind and my life and i just dread coming home. And of course, the biggest reason was my car - needed to sell it before i can come home.

The gods have answered my prayers and im absolutely delighted to be home.

In life, there are so many things that one has to face - positive and negative. I should stop running away from my problems and start facing them like a true adult.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A song to celebrate homecoming!!!


Now I never meant
To do you wrong
That's what I came here to say

But if I was wrong
Then I'm sorry
Don't let it stand in our way

As my head just aches
When I think of
The things that I shouldn't have done

Cos life is for living
We all know
And I don't wanna live it alone

I sing
Ah, ah, oh
And i sing
Ah, ah, oh
Yes i sing
Ah, ah, oh

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LURVE THIS SONG.

This is a LIVE VERSION - so chris martin added the very last part.

........................................................................

Life is for living and i don't wanna live it alone

what the fuck

WHAT THE FUCK?

what's the bloody point of having dreams and then fulfilling them only to realise, they are incomplete?

what could possibly make it worse?

I went to TWO fuckin coldplay concerts and travelled INTERSTATE to catch them.

Happily ecstatic after my Melbourne concert for an awesome night.

Until i realised they sang TROUBLE in both Brisbane & Melbourne concerts on the days i wasnt there.

Coldplay performed in Brisbane for 2 days:

23 June (which is the one i went and they didnt sing TROUBLE)

24 June (which is the night they performed TROUBLE)

Coldplay performed in Melbourne for 3 days:
1 July (which is the one i went and they didnt sing TROUBLE)
2 July (which is the night they performed TROUBLE)
3 July (They even did a cover of CANT GET YOU OUT OF MY HEAD as a tribute to Kylie)

WHAT THE FUCK?

i spent no less than 500 bucks - concert tix, air tix, accomodation etc etc only to realise a dream incomplete.

You have no idea how devastated i was lor.

To top it up?????????????????????????????

COLDPLAY TWISTED LOGIC TOUR 2006

SINGAPORE 10 JULY.

They fuckin played TROUBLE lor.

why is it so important for me to hear TROUBLE live?

Cos its the FIRST song that made me fall in love with coldplay. Not Yellow. In fact, i hated Yellow when i first heard it. Which explains why i didnt go to the 2001 Parachutes tour that Coldplay did with Travis - top 10 on my regret list together with 2002's RHCP tour.

:-(

devastating things aside.
.........................................................

i've graduated and im still in OZ land cos i cant bear to leave.

But the most important reason is that im still here for a reason. TWO reasons to be exact.

Jason Mraz - Aug 1.

The Strokes - Aug 3.

and then 6 days later...................................

im coming home!!!

9 aug.

ciao everyone. see ya soon. :-)

dream fulfilled

what happens next when your dreams become fulfilled?

i am going through this stage in my life when the ONE thing that i really really wanna do has been done. TWICE somemore.

And im at a loss - not even at a crossroads where i dont know what to choose.

I guess the next best thing is to find another dream to look forward to.

-----------------------

Speaking of dreams, i finally met chris martin and his band.

For everyone's information - i bought their tickets last year i think September and has been holding on to it since then till a couple of days ago. 2 shows i went - Brisbane & Melbourne.

Im currently in melbourne - just finished their concert 2 days ago. And i feel like there is no purpose to stay in melbourne anymore cos its fuckin cold lah~

Brisbane's show was disappointing especially after i've been to the melbourne one.

Reasons why Brisbane 23 June 2006 sucks:
1) Crowd was a fuckin loser bunch.

i arrived at about 11am. 2 groups were there already: a older bunch and a younger bunch. the older bunch are a group of wannabes who befriended everybody.

the younger ones were so young ; one of them was born in FUCKING 1990. my god lah~ and they didnt wanna talk to anyone.

at 1pm: 2 guys came and were such losers.. fat and curly hair plus skinny and long hair. only justin timberlake can pull off curly hair. and apparently they call themselves musicians.

I LOVE musicians - and they're not. Apparently the curly hair loser started saying things like my friend is the best guitar player in the world blah blah blah.... 2 hours later TAT friend appeared with a guitar and he started strumming and singing.

OK LAH~ if i practiced a bit, i can also do it leh~

NGAK plays good guitar too and i wouldn call him the BEST guitar player....

wah liao - really lah.."losers" is an understatement when i described them.

all in all - i wasnt too impressed with the crowd and was damn disappointed that fellow coldplay fans are such losers.


2) No cameras were allowed. I fucking paid $120 AUD plus $20 in total for postage lah - so i jolly well wanna take as many photos and i think concert organisers shouldnt interfere. I sneaked in my camera as usual and had to steathily take photos of the band. Until the last part, i think the guards jus bochap liao lah - so i had no troubles but still.............. *sigh*





















------------------

then i flew to melbourne. the flight was delayed for 2 fuckin hours and i ended up having to pay $65 for cab fare to my friend, eugenia's place. ARRGH....

and i did my homework finding out how to get to ROD LAVER arena - the concert venue. i decided not to go too early cos melbourne is too cold and im sick. I fell sick after Coldplay brisbane with a terrible fever that keeps coming back and a throat infection and a flu.

so i took a train and walked and walked. and fell cos the floor is too slippery. arrgh but it was alright. there werent much people there when i arrived and i just started chatting with people.
They were alll so nice to me cos i was from brisbane.

I met SO SOO SOOOOO SOOOOOOOOOO many people that nite. People who came from another state - South Australia Adelaide to watch coldplay. When people heard i was from Brisbane, they were like: Did i hear correctly? You're from Brisbane? That is just so cool of you to do that... that was so brave of you. did u come alone? Oh u came alone! That is so cool.

Haha~ so many comments.

i even had people walk with me to the train station when it all ended. i felt so at home in melbourne compared to brisbane which just reiterates the fact that i belong to the cool bunch not a bunch of losers. muahaha~~






















BUT melbourne's ROD LAVER ARENA mgmt was damn disorganised and damn fucked up.

but they made it up by allowing cameras. there werent any security checks AT ALL.

Apparently we're all allowed to take photos. so i took not a plenty since i told myself im gonna enjoy myself at the concert that night.

the fact that we had the freedom to take photos was just amazing.



----------------------

coldplay did some of the exact same things as they did in brisbane and i thought it was chris' adrenalin and wasnt staged.

chris martin sound exactly like what i hear them on their CDs and their live mp3s. i love listening to LIVE performances and i constantly searched for LIVE performances of coldplay and downloads them.

chris martin's adrenalin was amazing.

he keeps jumping and running.

i will never forget what i've seen and heard.

However i was disappointed.

they didnt play TROUBLE - which had so much meaning to me cos Trouble was the first song that made me fall in love with coldplay - not yellow. i wished it was yellow cos they played yellow.

Well they played politik but was the 2nd song and i will never be able to hear politik live as the opening song as they did on their "A rush of blood to the head" tour.

WHY DIDNT I EVER MAKE IT TO A RUSH OF BLOOD TO THE HEAD TOUR?

im pretty sure they didnt come to singapore for that tour.

devastated devastated devastated.

now - i really wanna make it to the 10 July concert in singapore.

MY HOME GROUND LEH~~~

it'll be damn cool to hear coldplay say things about singapore during the concert and hear how they manipulate God Put a Smile Upon Your Face in singapore's context.

but then i figured - if i were to buy the general standing tickets (not that i can since they're all sold out) - i will have to camp 2 days in advance cos singapore is the land of kiasu people.

and the experience will be damn fucked up cos i fuckin cant stand singaporeans and their kiasuism. but at least its home ground.

i've seen two shows in australia. im contented :-)


So what's next?

Cocker spaniels

I MISS SEASEA.

so i searched for cocker spaniels on YOUTUBE - i tell u this YOUTUBE is fantabulous man. Can find almost anything here - haaha~~

This clip is a cocker spaniel called maggie who was put to sleep 2 years ago due to lung cancer.

I MISS SEASEA man!!!

And she has NEVER swam in her entire life - i think she's too old now, i scared she drown sia.

I think it's time i be a responsible adult and be responsible for another living thing's happiness.

I'm coming home!! After The Strokes and Jason Mraz in Brisbane.

That means August - i dont wanna stay too long.

Finally.......

Jus realised i put other dog's video when i miss my own. haha~

I MISS SEASEA!!! IM COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2 more days

Today marks the LAST exam of my entire uni life - i hope im not hitting the books again anytime soon. I cannot believe that i completed the exam without much study/revision.

Cos all that is on my mind is 23rd JUNE.

23rd JUNE

23rd JUNE

23rd JUNE

23rd JUNE

23rd JUNE

23rd JUNE


Whoo hoo~~~!!!!!!!!!!!

i cannot believe im THIS NEAR to seeing COLDPLAY.

Concerts in this country is incrediby incredibly incredible.























I received an email from Brisbane Entertainment Centre - the venue where coldplay will perform - to tell us what to do on that day. What time the gate open, parking, cloak room, food...

All the information to inform us in case there's traffic jam.

Last year i went with Shann - now my housemate - to watch Destiny's Child and the place was PACKED man. Traffic was terrible and parking was 8 bucks.

THIS YEAR IS 9bucks lah! FUCK the blood suckers.

this is too exciting for me to feel fucked man.. anyway i have been paying $5, $8, $9, $25 parking that i dont really kao bei anymore.

haha~

2 more days!!!!


P/S: Colours brighten up our lives rite? Rather than read in black and white all the time when nothing in this world is exclusively black or white.

Live Forever

Once again, i am ranting and raving. haha~ what's new?

some time back i was in love with this song called LIVE FOREVER.

That's an Oasis original but what i first heard was the live version of COLDPLAY singing it.

I LOVED IT. LOVE IT LOVE IT LOVE IT.

And the video's on YOUTUBE!!! So i thought i'll share it.

and also to countdown - SIX MORE DAYS.

6 MORE DAYS

6 MORE DAYS

6 MORE DAYS

i really cant wait ~ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It has got to be the BEST concert - i knew it before i went.

WHY?

I think coldplay is my MOST adored band.

I adore alot of bands - as many of you know - but COLDPLAY is THE ONE.

I grew up listening to their songs.

I really mean GROWING UP - i know it's cliche and stupid and moronic even to say this but i dont think i'd have got out of alot of shit in my life without them.

I mean i've got my bf - my pillar of support - and my friends and sea sea and they are a big contribution too.

But sometimes people need to heal through songs.

I need to heal through songs.

Well, whatever..

haha~

Nothing beats seeing your idolised ONE for the very first time.

And this is the one concert that i've waited for like more than half a year? Almost a year?

I bought the tickets last August/September.

Got to be the most anticipated one.

i dont even wanna study for my exams! Look what i'm doing!!

BLOGGING!!!!
hahahaha~

maybe i dont really wanna know how your garden grows

~~ sounds familiar? I used it as my MSN nick for some time lah.

And its the most popular one. cos i get ALOT of messages from friends.

Here are some examples:

Your neighbour very talkative ah?

what you dont wanna know?

whose garden?

you got a garden?

what you grow in your garden?

cant really remember alot cos it's last year's incidents.

haha~

6 More Days.

18 May 2006

It's Too Late - Evermore




I dont think anyone can remember i have raved all about evermore before but that doesnt bother me and wont stop me from raving all about them AGAIN. haha...

This is something i found on YOUTUBE - and its uploaded by a fan who've attended their gig in sydney. I went to their gig in brisbane and im extremely sad to admit - i dont think it's half as good as this sydney one.

Firstly because it's a seated event in brisbane. FUCK LAH!!!!! Where got people sit down in concerts one? This is a fucking rock concert leh! NOT MOZART LAH FUCK!!!!

I cannot believe no one stood up.

Anyway - i was second row from the front - and just right beside the speakers. HOW AWESOME WAS THAT?

I was looking thru youtube and found alot of fans videotape concerts - like evermore, oasis, coldplay etc. BUT THEY MUST HAVE BOT THE CHEAPEST TICKETS. CANT SEE A SINGLE FUCK LAH!!!!

OR THEY'RE SHORT.

wah lao!! im not being a snob here but i'd never go to a concert without buying the most expensive tickets - mr chua would know - sadly no one else does cos no one goes concerts with me.

my rationale is - NO POINT GOING TO A CONCERT IF U CANNOT SEE THEM.

might as well stay home buy their concert dvd and scream ur lungs out right?????

OK - enough of my rants.

This song - my god - fuckin awesome - Evermore sang it as an encore during the Brisbane gig and they got everyone to stand up so i stood up and ran to the front of the stage where i can touch the guitar of Jon if i want to. haha~ fucking like 30cm away from me.

One thing is - i dont usually jump - even though everyone is jumping. i think to elicit all these reactions from me - you gotta be fuckin awesome man. all the stupid ang moh girls are jumping like mad around me - fuckin irritating.

This entry is supposed to be out in May cos i really wanna blog about my evermore experience. they're fuckin awesome lor.

This sydney gig saw everyone standing and singing along to the lyrics - didnt happen here in brisbane. SADSAD.

And i recorded my favourite song "DREAMS CALL OUT TO ME" which turns out that only the first 4 seconds is audible. The rest of the song is literally inaudible because i was so damn fucking near the speakers - the dunno wat didnt turn out well. i was devasted man!

if not i could've posted on youtube oso. haha~

The most exciting thing is i got to meet the band after the concert.

I know it sound groupie-ish but I SWEAR I AM NOT A FUCKIN GROUPIE.

If not with the encouragement of candice, i would not have done anything at all.

To me - idols are idols - meant to idolise them - and not to befriend them. haha~ cos they're only humans and are flawed. i'd rather think of them as external beings.

i got their autographs on a poster and a pillow case. damn fuckin cool can. haha~



















I FUCKIN FUCKIN HATE PEOPLE WHO CANNOT TEAR TICKETS PROPERLY.

fuck lah!!! they have no idea what they are doing lor and how much those tickets mean to me.

speaking of which - last year i went to the BILLY CORGAN concert - they FUCKIN TOOK AWAY THE TICKET. even worse.

for wat?????? count attendance???? That's what the other end of the ticket stub is for.

MOTHER FUCKERS.

nvm - look i took a photo with the band. i didnt dare to speak but the most friendly one is the one in black - he's the pianist/guitarist and he's peter and he's 19. i think he's 20 this year.

the one with messy hair (well all of them have messy hair haha) - ok the one in blue is jon and he's the oldest and he's 21 but i think he's 22 this year and he's the one with the amazing voice.

the one in the middle with the specs is the most geeky lookin one who used to sport long hair - and he's the YOUNGEST - he's 17 and i suppose he turns 18 this year. MY FUCKIN GOD LAH!

im like wat? 43 years old??? fuck...

how to be a groupie sia!!!

Anyway the geeky guy - his name is dann and he plays the drums and according the the biography on their website - www.evermoreband.com - dann is the "frontman". Whatever that means.

Cos i've always thought frontman is the person fronting who is usually the lead singer.

But then i realised - JON never speaks during the gig - it's all dann speaking like he introduces the song and say hi to everyone and etc.

fuckin fuckin cool - how much did i pay? $37.50

Arrgh - the one thing im gonna miss sorely about australia is concerts and gigs and fuckin cheap tickets. and good local music. evermore is one of a kind lah.

p/s: i really should be studying for my exams but im not. haha~

overdose

i fuckin dont understand why It's Too Late is used in some Japanese stuff.

anyway - i sort of got over being angry at the Japanese but i still fuckin hate them.

My boyfriend loves everything japanese - wat a fuckin loser.

He likes FINAL FANTASY. and he like japanese animated stuff - from games to movies to erm hentai. haha~

And he likes JPOP.

Fuck lah! This must be bad karma happening to me.

Arrrgh.

Look at the power of love.
























That's my 23rd birthday present from my boyfriend.

NOPE - he didnt design this t-shirt and gave it to me and expect me to wear it. Thats the last thing that loser would do. haha~

I went on to this website - not gonna broadcast it here cos i hate them (took 2 fuckin months!!) - and i paid US$46 inclusive of postage to Australia for this.

I of course, a non-credit-card-holder, has to use my HIS credit card. But i said i'll pay him back.

Then couple of weeks before my birthday - he asked what realistic present i'd like to have and i said FUJI ROCK FESTIVAL.

I got a BIG scolding from him and then i just said, well i used your credit card to buy something the other day, maybe that will be the present then. So that i dont need to pay him back.

And he said ok and really didnt get me anything sia.

Well i got a birthday card though.

haha~

why my bf so loser ah!!!!!!!


P/S: FYI, i am no cam-whore. i tried to take the pictures in angles so u can see coldplay in the background. haha~

Live long enough to find true love

I was in love with this video last year and showed it to all my friends - such a lovely story. So poetic somemore.

Aids education has never feel and look so good.

The people behind this advertisement are who else, but the FRENCH.

THE JAPANESE SHOULD JUST STICK TO DOING THEIR DAY JOB.

LIKE PORN OR SOMETHING BRAINLESS - LIKE THEIR HENTAI CRAP.

Leave the intellectual and intelligent stuff to people like me or the rest of the world.

This is however a heterosexual version of the true reflections of society. We all know that AIDS can be spread from male to female and male to male and female to female via exchange of bodily fluids.

Great PSA by GREAT people.

P/S: I am really fuckin pissed off by the people who call a red dot on white background their national flags and raw fish as their signature food and hentai and porn as their DAY JOB.

So it will be reflected in most of my posts at least for the next couple of weeks.

I believe Coldplay can heal my wounds - as usual.

Sugar Baby Love

This video is the gay version of the above video.

And it is so lovely.

I have previously announced that i am the most un-homophobic person you'll ever find despite my blatant disgust at George Teo - a lecturer in poly who does everything that disgraces the gay community.

Speaking of which, my housemate and i and her friend went to a party last night only to realise it's a gay party when we were in the club.

It was awesome. They're such good dancers and so over the top and proud of what they are.

How many times do you go clubbing and EVERY single person is dancing as if there is no tomorrow?

How many times do you go clubbing and dance in a sea or rather ocean of half naked attractive men? I mean there are big chunky flabs of meat floating on the ''ocean'' but there are many tall, attractive men kissing tall attractive men.

It is quite a sight and all you homophobes out there DEFINITELY cannot take it.

Good thing is music was beyond words can describe. Awesome, fantastic, and great are just adjectives that do no justice AT ALL to DJ Neroli - she does the female gender proud. :-)

I am open and was brought up to not dislike and discriminate gays. When i was 10, i was being made to read a book (cant remember the title) about homosexuals and how it is so natural for them to develop their sexual orientation.

Candice (my housemate) was disgusted that i like gay men. I dont particularly like or dislike them but i realised i might have been more lenient towards them, if that makes sense? And that stems from the inherent homophobic societal structure that is ubiquitous across the world.

Which makes them a very oppressed community.

Which is why i dont want to make them feel like i am one of those stupid idiots who discriminate them.

Which is why maybe i have double standards towards them.

You know guys touch you in the clubs like when they are moving across the dancefloor. If they are heterosexual - as in those not found in gay clubs - they're probably BUAYAS. OUGHT TO BE SHOT TO DEATH OR THE TARGETS OF HATE CRIMES.

When gays do it - as they did last nite - it is nothing fancy. Nothing at all. Most of them act in chivalry even.

Why are they the targets of hate crimes?

People who commit crimes out of hatred for other people's sexual preference and orientation ought to LIVE IN JAPAN.

SO THEY CAN FUCKIN ALL GO TO HELL AND BURN THERE FOR ETERNITY x INFINITY.

i haven got over the fact that a whole bloody bunch of homosapiens UNFIT to be called HUMANS are living in this big ass country that is so rich and technologically advanced and has so much power over world economy and if an ang moh sees an asian - he'd most firstly think he/she is japanese. WHY ON EARTH?

And it disgusts me to death.

This post is a happy post so i shall not kao bei about people we shall not speak of.

but i need to reiterate lah - I FUCKIN HATE THE JAPANESE NOW.

im gonna BOYCOTT all things jap - food, music, clothes etc.

Then i realised what good taste i have.

I DETEST JAP FOOD - NEVER A FAN OF SUSHI OR WHATEVER.

NEVER A FUCKIN FAN OF JPOP OR ANY MUSIC IN JAP. NEVER WAS, NEVER IS, NEVER WILL BE.

And sad to say, i NOW despise u if u listen to random stupid idiots singing in a language that irks me.

AND neither was i a fan of cutesy tops and pony tails.

Right now, my DISGUST for anything REMOTELY JAPANESE has just heightened.

Of cos, Takeshi Kaneshiro is spared.

I have double standards remember?

ciao

FUCK THE JAPANESE

FUCK THE JAPANESE

THEY CAN ALL FUCKING GO TO HELL AND BURN THERE FOR ETERNITY

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!

minus ERI TAKAHASHI who's been extremely kind to me and a lovely YOKO that i met last nite.

and minus TAKESHI KANESHIRO.

ALL OTHER JAPANESE CAN FUCKIN FUCKIN GO TO HELL.






















FUCK 'EM ALL

31 more days

31 more days to COLDPLAY.

I am wishing and praying and hoping for that day to come only, i tell u....

That will mark the end of my exams - technically my life as a student.

And the beginning of something new; which i dont know what.

What better way to celebrate than meeting my most worshipped musician?

And the past 2 weeks have been MAD. Absolutely crazy. EVERYTHING'S DUE ON THE SAME BLOODY WEEK. i haven even have time to catch up on my beauty sleep - i must have aged alot just by losing sleep over assignments, presentations and every other stupid trivialities that happen in life.

The nicest thing that happened to me was going to that EVERMORE concert.

I was screaming my lungs out. This was a seated event - to my dismay and bewilderment as it is to the Evermore boys but nonetheless AWESOME.

The most awesome thing is i got to meet the band - they had like an autograph session after the concert.

I feel like such a groupie - i would have left if not for Candice's inducement.

I worship bands and i love going to concerts because i feel the experience is something that alot of things cant replace. I love the adrenalin and the sheer SHOCK that the person i've been listening to and growing up to is standing just metres away.

Speakin of which - i am second row to the stage. Evermore's concert is like the closest i have ever been to meeting my worshipped ones. Well, i've met WUBAI before - and shook his hand during an autograph session (that was during my groupie secondary school days - but im not an obsessed crazy groupie lah) and i've seen Robbie Williams just standing a few steps away from me when i went to the MTV Asia Awards in 2003 - i saw him backstage.

And Evermore is just so talented and so charismatic.

I recorded DREAMS CALL OUT TO ME - my most favourite song on the album 'DREAMS' - on my Ixus 40. The good quality of it only lasts 15 seconds out of that whole 4 minute clip. ARRGH.

Must be the speakers - i was like practically inches away from the speakers.

Dan Hume - lead singer of Evermore.

He's like FUCKING shy. And he asked me to sleep well when he signed on the $20 pillowcase i bought.

















Here's proof

47 more days

47 more days to COLDPLAY.

Seriously, they play an ENORMOUS part in keeping me going when the going gets tough.

I AM LIKE SUPER STRESSED THIS MONTH.

All THE STUPID FUCKING BLOODY ASSIGNMENTS ARE DUE TOGETHER.

HOW FUCKING STUPID AND IRRESPONSIBLE CAN UNIVERSITIES BE BY GIVING US 300MILLION ASSIGNMENTS ALL DUE THE SAME WEEK.

ARRRGH!!!


Anyway - 10 more days to EVERMORE. Yes im going to watch them!!!!
Cant wait.

I fuckin cannot wait for 47 days to pass!!!

Can you imagine hearing POLITIK live???????

I absolutely dont wanna imagine. haha - i wanna experience it.


ta!

i need chill and music

i seriously need some chill and music.

not some stupid indian's ai yo ai yo ai yo

i miss wala wala and ngak!


the funny thing is: as much as i miss Singapore, my friends, my best mates, my dog, my loser bf, DJ Tang, ngak & wala wala, tau huay, chwee kuey, cheap hawker food.................

i dont wanna go back Singapore.

for reasons i shalt not disclose



Haha~ my life as a student is coming to an end!! VERY SIANZ.

maybe i dont want it to end - and going back Singapore marks the end - which i absolutely do not want it to.

Let There Be Love

I'm celebrating my 23rd birthday in 2 days time.

Well - not that there will be any big celebrations though - its like i turn bloody 23 leh - not 18. Or 21. So nothing to really celebrate about.

I think i've grown to an age where birthdays are like festive seasons? It's a chance and a good excuse to round up your best mates and have a good gathering. Beer and food sounds good. It's not really about 'celebrating your birthday' - it's just the 'name' - it's about being together with your friends and just have a really good time.

A really good time means - nothing bad can happen - cos its your birthday and God will excuse you for today.

PLEASE DO NOT EVER THINK IM REMOTELY A CHRISTIAN OR CATHOLIC OR WHATEVER JUST BECAUSE I USE GOD.

Arent those people capitalistic enough to 'chop' the use of the letters G, O, D for their own exclusive use?

Im a proud Buddhist.

I dont like those people as much as i dont like Indians.

BUT - i've got many many many (i dunno why though) frens who are christian and catholic and i've absolutely no problems with them becos i live by my precious Aristotle's saying "It's the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it".

I got indian friends too - i think only one - jayen is not counted cos he's half indian and he's not my fren. He's my boss leh~~

I make extreme comments like this because i use my brains alot and i have very strong opinions on alot of things and of cos, i got the courage to make such extreme comments at the risk of people slamming me, judging me and putting me in a bad light.

Someone once told me before :
"When you stand up for something, chances are there will be who will agree with you and there will be people who disagrees with you.

You can keep quiet so that nobody disagrees with you but nobody will agree with you either."

Therefore - there will always be people who loves you and people who simply hates and dislikes you.

I am so in reconciliation with that - so i dont really care if people like me or not. Therefore i dont try too hard like alot of people out there. Therefore i make extreme comments that come straight out from my head.

I know fuckin alot of people like me lor. Haha~

And i dont really have brain space left to think about the people who dont.

Things aside - my birthday is coming - so is my stupid mid sem. And this particular course is jinxed cos the final exam is on the last day of the exams. How great! And the day before is my Brisbane Coldplay concert.

Haiz - see i told you good karma doesnt always happen.

Also i wanna introduce Artist of This Moment - Oasis.


















They are the reason why i love aviators.



I am so in love with this song.

Let There Be Love - Oasis

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

Come on Baby Blue
Shake up your tired eyes
The world is waiting for you
May all your dreaming fill the empty sky
But if it makes you happy
Keep on clapping
Just remember Ill be by your side
And if you dont let go its gonna pass you by

Who kicked a hole in the sky so the heavens would cry over me?
Who stole the soul from the sun in a world come undone at the seams?

Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love
Let there be love

----------------------------------------

Chua Joon Yuan: What you mean by there's a hole in the sky? And the heavens cry ah?
Me: Means the heaven crying lah - raining lah!
Chua Joon Yuan: Raining not caused by a hole in the sky one leh. And who can kick a hole in the sky?



I wish i have a musician boyfriend. Not a stupid engineer boyfriend.

Artist of the MOMENT

To hell with Artist of the MONTH.

Why should i wait for 30 days in order to post about a band that i really adore?

I am going to change that into ARTIST OF THE MOMENT.

Alot of things can happen in 30 days.

People change in 30 days.

People die in 30 days.

People leave their loved ones in 30 days.

People's perspective can change in 30 days.

People's love can change in 30 mins - not to mention 30 days.

People realised the cruel truth in 30 days.

People fall in love in 30 seconds - not to mention 30 days.

People become disillusioned in 30 days.

People commit crimes in 30 days.

People lose everything they ever have in their life in 30 days.

People become fuckingly filthy rich in 30 days.

People lose hope in 30 days.

People become fat in 30 days.

People made enemies in 30 days.

People pisses me off in 30 mins - imagine the no. of people who pisses me off in 30 days?

People dream every day - imagine the number of dreams dreamt in 30 days.

Why wait?

LIVE FOR THE MOMENT.

In case i die tomorrow, i will die in peace knowing that i have helped spread fantastic music.



HAHA~~~ like real rite?

Who gives a damn what i think rite?

For this moment - im going to feature Snow Patrol. A new band that i've come to like cos the lead singer's got a refreshingly clear yet full voice that may not as sound achingly painful as Chris Martin but it did pull a few strings from my knotty heart.



















I love musicians - they just look so different.



Loser CHUA JOON YUAN introduced Snow Patrol's RUN to me and i fell in love with it. It is such a wrenching song.

But i am going to feature the other song that i have also come to love for this MOMENT -

Snow Patrol - How to be dead

Please don't go crazy, if I tell you the truth
No you don't know what happened
And you never will if
You don't listen to me while I talk to the wall
This blanket is freezing, it's been out in the hall
Where you've had me for hours
Till I'm sure what I want
But darling I want the same thing that I wanted before
So sweetheart tell me what's up I won't stop no way

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...
Oh, my God

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking the and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Their lyrics are not as well-written in the sense that it is not as poetic and emblematic as alot of my OU XIANG (idol) - like Oasis, Coldplay and Wu Bai. Their lyrics are not even as good as Evermore's.

They're still writing what i call, NORMAL lyrics. Not poetic and emblematic. But not crappy lah - like those R&B stuff. *cough* golddigger *cough*

~~~

Till the next time i have my 'moment'.

Tata!

Karma

I believe in Karma.

I believe bad people who does evil things will get bad karma.

I, however on the other hand, doesnt believe TOO strongly in good karma cos good people dont neccessarily have good karma.

And Karma in its most potent forms, falls upon the loved ones of the karma-doer.

I scared i got bad karma - so i always avoid doing bad and evil things.

So for every Indian i insult, i am super nice to a dog.

:-)