Hopes & Fears

Such an empathetic title to begin with. Hmmmmm.. as suggested in my previous post, my car broke down. Complete a la Takumi in Initial D style. She just died on me. Just like that. I sensed something was wrong and i exited the nearest exit on the motorway, just in time to see her die on me. Smoke and smell~~

I was saying to Shawn sitting beside me, "i cant move it". Absolutely not. The car behind me gave me a honk upon seeing my hazard lights on. Shawn (Shann's bf) came out of the car to push my car to the side & the driver behind came out to help. Another ang moh came to help and offer advice too. And, i rang RACQ (Queensland roadside assistance) to tow my car. Because 5 of us (Me, Shann, Shawn & 2 of Shann's friends) were stuck in the middle of a highway exit, RACQ got the tow truck to send all 5 of us to a "safe" location where we haf to figure our own way out.

And i haf to haf 4 other friends, 2 of which i've just met, to witness the death of my car.

AS USUAL, i will not detail happenings of events but on my thoughts.

Its only in times of crisis like this that one learns who their true friends are. I am indeed lucky to have very good friends who were there for me when i needed their help most while stuck in no man's land.

Did i fail to mention that fateful day - 29 July - was also the day im supposed to catch Billy Corgan in concert. (Dont fuckin ask me who he is - go GOOGLE yourself.) I almost didnt feel like going because i was feeling so tired inside and out. I actually fell asleep while waiting for Mr Ho to fetch me at the garage. And i did not have anything to eat that day for the whole fuckin day.

I woke up late for my class at 10am and it finished early at half past 12 instead of 4. So i decided to meet Shann and company to go IKEA since i promised them i'll bring them there on sat. So if friday is free, might as well settle it early. Journey was fine on the motorway even till i reached Indooroopilly where i met them. Somewhere along Coronation Drive and my temperature gauge hit H. I panicked so i started lookin for a service station. Decided to add some coolant but it proved to be a grave mistake. Viviane later told me i should let it cool down before adding coolant or i should let the motor run while pouring the coolant or else i'll crack the engine. Which explains why i hear clicking and clanging metal sounds moments before my car died.

In any case, kind Mr Ho knowing that i didnt have anything to eat the whole day brought me out for dinner and then sending me to the concert. I'm so touched that i will marry him had he not have higher expectations from a girl. I cannot make it one lah...

Then after the concert, i will need a lift back to Ipswich. But that's not neccessary cos if there's no one to fetch me, i'll take a cab (however fucking ridiculously priced they are - aussie cabs count by minute not by km) to my friend's place to stay for the nite and take a train home the next day. I will always figure my way out~

However, Mel & Jayen, a very kind couple extended their helping hand to me by waiting for me and sending me home. No words written or spoken can express the magnitude of my gratitude towards them. Try being car-less and homeless and you'll see how a pair of hands seem so different as they would on a normal day.

Then there is Ben and Leigh. An aussie couple i met at the concert.

The best thing that happened to me that nite was Billy, Ben and Leigh. Mr anonymous corrected me by pointing out mel & jayen's kindness which i will graciously accept. However, Ben and Leigh revealed the side of human nature which i have NEVER EVER seen before. Kindness in its purest and elitist form. Just pure kindness and genuinity without asking for anything in return absolutely.

I was at Billy's concert standing amongst these australians. Big tall strong men pushes you out of their way so they get a better view. Leigh, being as tall as me, was being shoved and so did i. We started talkin abt billy and the concert and after the concert i decided to be thick skinned abit, as i usually am , to ask if i could borrow her phone. I wanna exchange SIM card because i didnt want to use her credits and i saved all my numbers on my card. So she patiently waited and while i was talking, she even helped out with directions. Later on, we went on to have a drink and Ben suggested that they take down my email and phone so that they could send me Billy's pictures.

While Leigh was enjoying the concert, Ben - who is at least 1.9m tall with the pecs and shoulder to complete that frame of his - was diligently taking pictures with their va va voom camera. Suddenly reminds me of someone familiar who accompanies me to all the concerts in Singapore.

My phone was out of battery - as in BATTERY EMPTY. Meaning i could not even phone for help. Got payphones but all my numbers in the SIM card. Such a shame we've all become slaves of technology that we paralyse ourselves by depending on them on every single thing in our lives. So kind Leigh lent me her phone and ben & her and i started chatting. Then later they walked me out while i wait for mel & jayen. I told them that they can leave first, i'll be fine waiting but they INSISTED on waiting with me. I must say i was definitely glad. I think we waited for a good 45mins before i decide to ring mel to see if they could find me. Later on, i just told them to wait for me at the train station while they walked me there too.

Finally reaching my destination, i gave Leigh and Ben a big hug before saying goodbyes and them promising the pictures would come.

What a nite.

This past few weeks have been really trying on me. Ben and Leigh showed me the OTHER side of human race that i've grown so cynical of.

There exists people who are willing to help people without asking for anything in return. I mean, i am but a total stranger to Ben & Leigh yet they agreed to help me in all ways they could without a hint of hesitation.

KIND PEOPLE DO EXIST.

And it warms my heart just to know that all is not lost in the human race. Humans bicker and you dont even need to do anything at all. People bicker about you and half of the time you are not aware. People always try and speak for u, dont they? Have they not realised, i dont need a fuckin voice. I can speak and write better than any of those pigs out there. Yet there's little one can do.

Friday nite - 29 July - remains a night i cant forget. The day i lost faith and regained hope. I completely lost faith in my Camry - now im just awaiting the garage to ring me on Monday morning to tell me how much its gonna cost to fix my car.

In spite of all that has happened, i shall remain hopeful of the world.

If i have never pushed myself out of my comfort zone by living alone & not with the huge student population in Unilink:
i will not have met Viviane - a wonderful lady and housemate who's taught me so many things in life that goes beyond "experience".

If i have never pushed myself out of my comfort zone by going ALONE to the billy corgan concert:
i will not have met wonderful people like Ben & Leigh and take heart in knowing that there are kind souls in this world.

And therefore, i shall push myself out of my comfort zone by updating my blog more often. hahaha!!

Ta guys!! Wont be long....

what a day

what a day.

yesterday (friday 29 july) was a trying day.

my car broke down in the middle of a highway. and i havent had anything to eat at all till abt 7 in the evening.

i've got to catch billy corgan somewhere in the city and i've got no transport to and fro back home.

THE BEST THING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY WAS BILLY, LEIGH AND BEN.

i met two amazing kind souls, leigh and ben at the concert. u have no idea how kind they are.

will update tmr if im not too tired after cleaning my room, study and toilet and ironing my clothes and clearing my desk and doing housekeeping on last sem's stuff.

ta!

Do i look tired?

muahahaha my dear beloved GROUNDNUT sent me a msg on Friendster say she miss me!!! OF cos i miss u guys man...why u think i decided to go back at the end of the year?

And i know a handful of u, in fact alot of u sent me msgs on Friendster. Im sorry if i didnt reply. I always seem to have problems leh, dunno why~~ everytime i reply and type out liao, the message would hang there or there's something wrong with my connection. Some of you might know the kind of internet connection i have here in Ipswich.

anyway, GROUNDNUT sent me the message saying i look prettier!!! (Based on the pics i posted in Friendster) I have just recently uploaded totally new pictures. All fuckin 12 of them. Without captions of cos...

Hahaha, anyway, she assumed i looked prettier because i know how to doll up myself. Hmmmmm so that means:

1) I looked uglier when i was in SG. Which means i dunno how to doll up myself when i was in SG (since she said i looked prettier and i must've know how to doll up myself now).

2) Since i looked prettier now, meaning i know how to doll up myself and that means i can only look pretty with the help of dolling up.



Groundnut also didnt fail to mention that my skin looked dry and advised me to moisturise. Thanks ger~~

It really is drier here in winter and knowing the kind of person i am, i only moisturise when:
1) i feel like it
2) i remember

Funny thing when i read that message was that i burst out laughin!! How funny was that??



anyway, time to clear up.

First thing about me looking prettier:

1) it could be just the camera. 600 over bucks for that fuckin IXUS 40. Slim enough for me to sneak it in to Destiny's Child concert in my trusty Levi's. Takes the world's best pictures.

2) it could be the weather and a change of environment. u look as pretty as your environment.

3) Maybe maybe maybe, i just became prettier after drinking that witch's potion. But i'll turn back to my ugly self every nite before i go to bed. So only one person sees that side of me and still loves me for who i am.

4) Maybe GROUNDNUT is so deeply madly in love, that all she sees are beautiful things.

Why do i make the above 4 assumptions? Becos Groundnut is wrong and thats becos i am still the same old Angie. Cannot be i look prettier one lah cos i didnt even change leh~
In other words, im tryin to say im pretty all along (thats if u agree with Groundnut that i looked prettier). Wahahaha

Reasons why im still the same:

1) I do not put on an ounce of make up. AT ALL. i didnt even put on makeup when i go chinablack with my kakis. I used to doll up for clubbin sessions. And then i got tired of it. And thats becos i was absolutely lazy. Whats new eh?

2) I did not buy any new clothes. Im still wearing all the clothes that i brought from Singapore. Yep i bought a couple of tops for like $10 each but they're about the same as those i wore in Singapore.

3) I wear my specs more often than i did compared to when i was in SG. Guess why. You got it right? COS IM FUCKIN LAZY. To put on contact lens and to take them off. Anyway i look cool in my specs wat!!! (*absolute cognitive dissonance)

4) i dont even haf money $$$$ to cut my hair? How to stay pretty? My fringe is so long it has to be swept to the side and my hair jus feels so out of shape.

5) and i didnt need to learn to doll up. I ALREADY KNOW. Im jus lazy, thats all.



Lets take a look at the pictures i posted in my friendster.

do i look tired in any of the above? maybe the top right hand corner one taken with MR CHUA. Well that was the 1st day i collected my car which means we woke up at abt 7 or 8am to hitch a ride from my landlady to school. Then i went to have a consultation with my tutor regarding my assignment and then we rushed to take the bus to withdraw money from the bank and then rushed to take the train to GOLD COAST. Which means we have to take a 3-hour train ride to reach Gold Coast. Thereafter collecting the car, we drove up to MT TAMBORINE. 30 over km lor. U tell me, tired anot.

Do i look tired in any of those? Maybe the last pic with Shann. Well, that was DESTINY'S CHILD nite. School from 9-4pm. Then drove down 43km to St Lucia (where Shann lives) from Ipswich only to realise that i left the concert tics at home in lovely ipswich. No choice, gotta drive all the way back, figuring my way back. Then, gotta figure my way to the concert venue which is about 50km away. Then drove all the way there and navigating my way there with my street directory all by myself cos Shann cant really read maps. And i totally skipped dinner cos i was late. U TELL ME LAH...tired anot.



Do i look tired in any of those? Yea, tired of posing.

It's just amazing what seemingly harmless pictures could mean differently to different people.

Pictures speak a thousand words and they speak for themselves and speak for me. BUT DID I EVER SAY I NEEDED A VOICE?

I have my own voice. Yet in life, there are tonnes of things that speaks for themselves and there's nothing you can do about it. Things can speak for themselves but people cant listen to themselves. The picture does speak for itself, however, different people who sees the pictures, comes up with different conclusions. So whose words count? Not mine, i guess. Ultimately, people only hear what they wanna hear.

Alot of times you dont even need to do or say anything. Just stand there and tongues wag.

So what if things speak for themselves and people's tongues wag. Does that mean u are not going to do what u want and have to do?

Absolutely not.

The tongue weighs practically nothing yet so few can hold it.



ok its all starting to sound serious becos i suddenly got alot of inspirations on that topic. "REN YAN KE WEI".

And mr thong said he wants my hair. Kaozz...... y u like them ah...

AS PROMISED, THEY'RE IN MY NEXT POST (which is this one).



I wanna shout it out to you guys in SUNNY SINGAPORE.

Thanks for all the neverending msgs to ask about my well being. Absolutely great to know that there are friends who are genuinely concerned and interested about my well-being. True friends are hard to come by.

I dont reply your msgs thru friendster; and i apologise. Not that i dont care, but a combination of environmental and physical conditions made it pretty impossible. Send me emails!! I'll definitely read and reply all my emails. Friendster msg is for those who forgot, dunno or throw away my email addy.

Heh, tryin to blog as much as i can while im in the mood for it and school hasnt started giving me its full force strenth of pressure.

School's started for a week already. And fuck! I got school on Friday. Sianz. :(

tata! and im going to watch Billy Corgan tmr. Yippe!

Sydney Trip

I tried to think of an appropriate adjective to describe the Sydney ROAD trip that i went with 3 of my friends. I was the reserve driver but the 2 principal drivers were so good, they didnt need me.

In any case, the title of this post is not THAT important as opposed to the content - which i have always emphasised. Then again, my previous post suggested that the lazy bone in me has taken charge, hence pictures might have to do the talking - which is not a bad thing for some of you since SOME of you did complain before about how bloody long my entries were (were is used bcos tats a thing of the past. NOW my posts ARE short & brainless) .

PICTURES CAN BE ENLARGED BY CLICKIN ON 'EM.

Back to the topic. Sydney trip. Yes. We drove down from Brisbane - actually Ipswich - all the way 935km to Sydney.

We took about one day and a half to get to Sydney cos we didnt drive in the nite.

Thats co-driver (Wayne) & me in the back seat. Cos i reserve driver mah~


This is our driver (Wilson) & proud owner of the civic.

Stopped over at Tamworth for the nite - its a fantastic little town. Tiny but self-contained with supermarkets opened til 12 midnite. Something that you cant find in Ipswich. Well, even if there is, nobody would go anyway. Thursday late nite shopping does not apply to Ipswich for it looks like a ghost town.

Tamworth has a stretch of nice little restaurants and cafes. This is where we filled our starving stomachs with a pretty good deal. By the time i go back to Singapore. $10 Jap food at food court to me is FUCKING cheap.

The chicken Schnitzel that Wayne & i (both non-beef eaters) had for dinner. MINUS the gravy. (dun ask me why)

This dog (fifi) belongs to the cousin of my friend, Peijuan. We parked the car at her place as she kindly agreed to our request to park our car at her place FOC. Kind people all over the world. Tat dog is fuckin cute. Simply adorable. SOOOOOOOOO TINY!!!!!



You must believe that was what i wore to the BLUE MOUNTAINS IN BLOODY WINTER. Now the coldness in Ipswich doesnt seem to bother me much at all. AT ALL.

The bulk of my money was spent on food in Sydney. Gastronomic feast. And that's just breakfast and lunch.

Chinatown didnt look or feel the same as it did 3 years ago when i was there.



Public transport in Sydney was excellent. Excellent is too much of an overstatement for a person like me to say, who comes from Singapore. However, i was living in bloody brisbane cum ulu ipswich with terrible public transport. Excellent is definitely the word to describe Sydney's public transport. They had those card gantries that Singapore used to have during our Transitlink card days? Something remotely similar to Singapore.



That night can be considered my happiest nite in Sydney. I "met" John Lennon and the Smashing Pumpkins. Followed by a fantastic nite at the club called GAS which plays fantastic R&B.

In case you are wondering where the photos are taken, its at Hard Rock Cafe.


In heaven. Wonder if you could see the halo above their heads a la angels.

Final days in Sydney -The Rocks and a one hour unfulfilled dinner.

That sums it up.

I was there 3 years ago with a total different company. I was there when my first digit of my age is still a bloody one. Funny thing is i didnt find Sydney familiar at all. I had recollections of it - bits & pieces but they never seem to gel up. I feel like a girl suffering from amnesia brought back to the old home.

The next time i go Sydney, i wanna go with my other half. And a lot of my clubbin kakis. Cos i soooooo promise that you'll like the clubbin there.

Finally an update on my life.

DUN SAY DUN HAVE AH!!!!!

Ta! And a parting shot. It's been a bloody long time i post a parting shot, havent i?



I miss Sea Sea.